Mindfulness (In Plain English)- By Bhante Henepola Gunaratana

Mindfulness for those aren’t aware of it yet, refers to being completely in touch with and aware of the present moment, as well as taking a non-evaluative and non-judgmental approach to your inner experience. The Author emphasizes in the book that a state of Mindfulness can be achieved by meditation. The jargon Meditation and its methods of doing has been discussed in numerous books, manuals and articles, which has not only left us in a perplexed state of what exactly it is but also has filled us up with the misconception of it being complicated and challenging.

Mindfulness- In Plain English- as the name of the book suggests simply tells us what meditation is all about. Mediation has been explained here as a way of making us achieve a state of mindfulness in which one pierces through the nature of reality and sees things as they really are.  Gunaratana not only spends a lot of time setting up what meditation is and isn't, but step by step takes us through the myths, realities, and benefits of meditation and the practice of mindfulness. The Author gives practical advice on where to focus your mind, how to sit, how long to sit, how to deal with distractions, how to keep your concentration and so much more.

Some of the astounding quotes in the book are ‘Pain is inevitable, suffering is not’, ‘It is by knowing the existence of our deficiencies that we can improve ourselves’, and  ‘Somewhere in this process, you will come face-to-face with the sudden and shocking realization that you are completely crazy. Your mind is a shrieking, gibbering madhouse on wheels barreling pell-mell down the hill, utterly out of control and hopeless’.

To conclude the book assures us that we already have the foundation we need to live a more productive and peaceful life and simply tells us how to make it work.

24/11 of my Life!!

Prologue

It was one of those usual days office and one of those usual times when I leave from office. I checked the office clock again it was 7:25 pm and I realized its time and I should leave asap so that I can be home before 8:30 pm. As usual I went to the Bus Stand and took my usual Bus, route no GL-23. though the bus was getting crowded I got a seat 3rd seat from the door, on the door side, an aisle seat. The Bus started and as usual took some time to come out of ISBT Kashmere Gate, where my office is, the clock tower showed a time of 7:42 as my bus passed by it. I put my headphones in my ears and connected it to my phone to listen to the radio

The Hit

About 8-10 minutes later, I got a big jerk and felt something just hit my head. Few seconds later I realized suddenly I cant see from my right eye and my left eye is also half closed, my nose and forehead is bleeding badly and I am spitting blood from my mouth. It took me another few seconds to realize that something came and hit me. 

The Struggle in Bus

It was then when I started shouted my co passengers realized I am hurt and told me actually a big rock came and hit me. I then asked for the bus to stop, my co passengers supported and they asked the driver to stop the bus. That's when I realized my phone wasn't in my hand anymore. I told my co passengers my phone has got dropped somewhere, please find it. by now my visibility was only 10% left with my left eye. My co passengers found the phone for me and I dialled my home number and since because of all the blood that was flowing from nose I had difficulty in breathing so I gave phone to a co passenger to talk. He talked to my family on my home landline and told that there has been an accident and we are at Seelampur and gave the phone to me. I don't know who was on the other side of phone but I told I have got hurt and I am coming towards home. The phone somehow got disconnected and then a co passenger asked me for contact number I gave my brother's mobile number. He dialled my brother's number from his phone and explained the situation. I then said my forehead is hurting and if my right eye is bleeding or not my co passengers assured my right eye is not bleeding. I asked for first aid box, and many of my co passengers also insisted the driver and the conductor to take it out, my co passengers then put the blue coloured medicine in my forehead and nose, however I was still bleeding badly, they also asked me not to sleep.

By then I had realized a little what all is happening, so I asked my co passengers to start the Bus again and take me to Max Hospital Patparganj, I also told I stay in patparganj, my family would come there. My co passengers realizing that I am conscious and fully aware of things asked the bus to start again, the bus driver told the other passengers the bus would now stop next at Hasanpur Depot (it is the bus stop where I used to get down daily), so some of them got down.

All this while I was clinging to my Handbag, my phone and a stole, my handbag had a lot of cash and I thought in case anywhere I require to pay in a hospital or something I have enough money, also my handbag had my driving license which had my residence address, it was a way of tracing back my family in case I fell unconscious and also my phone then was the way of connecting to my family.

The PCR Van

The Bus had moved few kilometers that the Bus Driver saw a PCR Van and he said I can be taken to a hospital much faster by a PCR Van. The Bus Stopped in front of the PCR van, it is when my male co passengers requested other female passengers to actually help me out till PCR van, none came to help. Then those helpful co passengers asked if I can walk or not I said 'yes' however I cant see. I remember there were 5-6 people who helped me in getting down, the PCR van didnt have much space it could make only three people sit. 2 of my co passengers got into the PCR Van, others asked me if they should follow it till I reach a hospital I said that is not required.

Those two helpful people they kept on telling me I am fine and would soon reach a hospital. In the PCR van I asked police to take me to Max Hospital patparganj, they said they can only take me to a government hospital and nearest hospital is GTB hospital. I knew how the hospital was so I insisted to the police to take me either to my family or to the hospital I am asking for. I suddenly realized my family needs to know where am I so I dialled my brother's no and kept the phone on. Somehow with lot of insistence police had agreed to take me to where I wanted but suddenly there senior called on wireless and instructed me to take to GTB Hospital and yes by now not only I was bleeding profusely I was vomiting also so I decided that I needed medical attention quickly than reaching my family so I agreed to go to GTB Hospital  . Since my phone was on I presumed family knows I am going to GTB Hospital however I gave my phone to the two people accompanying me and they told on phone that I am being taken to GTB Hospital.

GTB Hospital and formalities

When I reached Hospital I remember my two passengers lifting me and putting me to stretcher and some more people taking me inside. Inside the hospital I was just lying in that stretcher with no doctor or nurse taking care of me. In fact police came and asked me whats your husband's name, I said I am not married take down my brothers name, however police repeated the question again my answer was same , police repeated the question for 3rd time, my answer was same. In the 4th time I shouted and told cant you understand you take down my brother and father's name and number, it seemed they understood. Police then got into paper work and as usual I was still bleeding vomiting and UNATTENDED.

Police then started accusing my co passengers that they have beaten me up and brought into this condition. My co-passengers/ my life savers they came to me and told that police is accusing them. On which in that condition I had to sit and shout that they have helped and have no hurt me. Now please someone do something I am hurt.

After this police came and took my left thumb impression on some paper. I shouted again for medial attention, to this some nurse came and gave me tetanus injection and put me on a drip. it must have been 50 minutes or even more after which this was done. After the police started asking my life savers for my handbag and mobile for custody, to which those two people said we are not handing over anything to police - she is lady and her family is reaching in sometime.

After few minutes my family arrived, with whatever 10% visibility I had I still remember the first look on my dad, mom and brother's face. My belonging are handed over to them by me and my life savers. On questioning the doctor why no body is taking care of me they said  neurology department will take care of her. After being taken to neurology department we were told CT scan needs to be done, then only any treatment can be done. So my family questioned why CT scan has not been till now. The doctor then told that the CT scan machine is not working and handed over a pamphlet of a private clinic nearby to my brother and asked him to get my CT Scan done from there. My family was totally pissed off and clueless. I told my brother take me to max I can go in your car I cant stay here they will not do anything. My brother realized in any case I have to taken out for a  CT scan so I might as well be taken to some hospital where a treatment will happen. He asked the neurosurgeon if I am in a condition of travelling for half n hour in an ambulance. The doctor said yes but still you will be taking her out at your own risk and since a Medico Legal Case(MLC) was registered my dad went for taking a copy of it and my brother went for finding an ambulance. Dad got the copy of MLC and brother luckily found a private ambulance outside.

Out to a better hospital

I was still bleeding badly and vomiting when I was taken in that ambulance to the nearest hospital near my home. My brother and my two life savers followed my ambulance in which I was with my mom and dad till the nearby hospital. I got hurt at 7:50 pm and it was almost 10:00 pm when I reached Max.

The Hospital near my home

I was immediately taken care off in the emergency of new setup with an immediate cleaning, changing of dress, monitoring of blood pressure, drip and other things. I was taken for multiple CT Scan and then me and my family were told no brain injury and no eye injury has happened. However I had multiple bone fractures, depressions in face, my nose has shifted to right, theres rupture of blood tissue behind nose. A plastic surgeon was called for in emergency. She came at probably 12 o clock and told I would need surgery and titanium plates would be required to put inside my skin to bring things to normal. Later on police also came to lodge a formal police report, and this time I signed.

Epilogue

My friends, friend cum colleagues, colleagues and above all my family(including my uncle who flew from Siliguri for my surgery) all supported me through this time of life and still doing so.  My Surgery happened on 28/11 it was delayed as my face swelling wasn't subsiding and without which a surgery wasn't possible. It was a 5 hour surgery with full anaesthesia and there are now 4 titanium plates inside my skin screwed to my bones. I was hospitalized for 8-9 days and was in rest at home for 2 more weeks.

All casts, bandages and staples were gradually taken off. I feel OK now with sensation missing from most of the parts which  either got hurt or got affected during surgery. My right eye is bigger than the left one is yet to come to normal shape . Right side of the face, nose and forehead is still swollen, sometimes they pain too but not much. My doctor says everything would be fine in 2-3 months period of surgery. I have joined office I cant work full fledged and lack stamina largely but its very important to me being close to my normal way of life.

Somethings I want to highlight

• People say humanity doesn't exist anymore, I don't agree. My co passengers who helped me that day especially those two people , a big thank you to them.
• Law and order- What to say about it someone threw a stone at the bus so casually because he knew that nothing will be done about it, and I guess nothing has been done about it because I haven't heard from police. Probably the guy would repeat it someday and someone else would be a victim
• Police's emergency Services- Someone from the bus dialled 100 no and so did my brother from home but no PCR van reached me that day we incidentally met a PCR van which was standing on road that day.
• Police's rules and regulation- Why cannot a accident victim be taken into a private hospital especially when she herself is insisting for it. Why before giving me treatment forms were being filled up ? forms were necessary or my treatment? Why were my co-passengers being accused of beating me? this even a little help today people extend when they see someone in need of help they would stop doing so because of the system and attitude of police.
• Government Hospital- Probably a little humanity lessons needs to be given there, I was lying 40 minutes without treatment. Why are always machines not working? I could afford a private hospital because of my medical insurance and financial condition, what will happen to those who cannot? They would be lying there for hours without treatment and some even may lose their lives.

A Thousand Splendid Suns- By Khaled Hosseini

A Thousand Splendid Suns is a chronicle of three decades of Afghanistan’s Modern history (1964-2003) that bases itself on eternal love, surprising friendship, tales of time and an astounding triumph. It is a very simply written story with well chosen metaphors that draws us close to the lives of two women who are the prime characters of this book.

Mariam is an illegitimate child from Herat is married off to a much older man in Kabul. Kabul is shown through Mariam’s eyes as a cosmopolitan city with women having due recognition in society. Mariam though is ill treated throughout the book as she could not conceive a child, a son to be precise.  Laila, a child living in the same neighbourhood, belongs to a liberal family and is well exposed education.

Political situation transforms itself from the Soviet occupation to growing strength of the mujahideen. Laila at the age of fifteen hopelessly in love with her neighbor Tariq, who has moved out of Kabul to Pakistan, loses her family when a rocket hits her home. She ends up at home of Mariam and eventually marries her husband as she is pregnant with Tariq’s child. During the reign of Taliban, time moves with the unlikely friendship between the two women their attempts to escape, their sharing of - household chores, love towards Laila’s children and brutality from their husband.

In due course Mariam gives up her life for Laila, her children and for her union with her lover Tariq. The story ends with depiction of removal of Taliban and Laila and Tariq’s return to Kabul with their children. Hosseini in this novel spanning across 380 pages very beautifully narrates the tale of two generations, brought together by dreadful war, their struggle towards survival and their hopes of finding love and happiness.

The Ticketless

One of those usual days I left at 7:10 from my office with the hope of my THE bus. While coming out of my office I meet two of my colleagues who were probably going for a smoke outside.... and suddenly one of them says don't wait for us you must be getting late and here I remember ohh yeah my 7:20 AC bus .

Yeah yeah I am a public transport pro and I still travel by Bus, which if I find an AC one is way more comfortable than metro and yes cheaper too.As some of you don't know FYI my office is in ISBT premises.  And there is this nice bus which drops me quite close to my home and yes I do get a seat to sit too.

So anyways coming back to my story  I rush to the place where my Bus comes. and there were two men standing at that place one would be somewhere 30ish and another probably close to 40 both of them lean, looked tired and sweating badly because of the weather. They together came to me and asked if there is a bus to Meerut they can take up. I had to tell sorry the UP and Uttarakhand buses aren't plying from here anymore you both will have to go to Anand Vihar.

And I showed them my beloved red bus which was just parking itself, you can go by this... it seemed they already knew everything and they were just looking for reassurance in whatever they had already heard.

So here we board on the bus I take my usual seat, and one of them, the 40ish sits in the seat front of me. The other one goes to the rear end of the bus.

The bus starts pretty soon unlike other days and since buses have now reduced in ISBT it finds its way out very easily with a very small halt at the check point where the check point guy gives the bus an exit slip. The conductor  half hearted looks into every body's seat and gives a ticket to those who gave the money. the man in front of me was then searching something in his luggage. 

Another guy gets into the bus and starts selling table covers in the top of his voice, I put my earphones and started surfing through the radio channels.

And here the bus takes a round at the cloverleaf of ISBT bridge I see the time on the clock tower it was 7:25 and I think I should be home by 8:10 today 10 mins early than my usual. The bus is now moving in quite high speed, suddenly few passengers ask them to stop at a bus stop and it halts and they get down.

Its not been a whole minute that suddenly it was stopped by  few DTC gentlemen, they were Ticket checkers, every time a bus is stopped by ticket checkers my school time memories get refreshed. Anyways they come to everyone check their tickets, they come to my seat I took off my earphone from one ear and hand them my ticket, and next they ask the man in the front seat for tickets. He very naively takes out a hundred rupee note and asks for a ticket to  Anand Vihar  and wow the checker says OK give another hundred and here is your fine for today you can travel in any bus today with this fine slip. He says I did not notice when the tickets were sold but all in vain the checkers had found their bakra and they were least interested in checking anyone else's ticket.

The man looked poor (he did not look very poor though) and when he took out money from his pocket it must have been around 500 only and its seemed that's all he carried for his journey to Meerut. He looked genuine and when he said he was unaware of when the tickets were sold he looked truthful . He also looked conscious about people looking at him so his paying off fine was rather quick than a long pleading, but he wasn't left on humanitarian grounds. Poor guy I thought first so much of hassle of not finding a bus here and then a 200/- fine . His fare to Meerut wont be 200 rupees probably

 The checkers then moved to the guy selling table covers and he kept on digging into his bag saying I am searching for the ticket, however the checkers just laughed gave a pat on his shoulder and alighted from the the bus, they way they exchanged smiles it seemed they have come across him many a times during their regular schedule. Yes he was poor too and was spared on humanitarian grounds.

But somewhere somethings work, the first guy probably looked not a regular, an easy prey whom they are not going to meet again, whereas the second one was a familiar face. I did not understand the distinction much neither I see any justification in the double standards.

Fact remains those who can be suppressed are suppressed by all.

Besharmi Morcha... Slutwalk indianized....

So some Canadian cop made some sexist comment ....and women all over the world have started slut walk to show the men the can do what they want and they can wear what they want....and we Indians are following it happily by giving it a name Bhesharmi Morcha... what is that we are trying to achieve out of it... Protection of Rights of Sex Workers or...Violence against women...

Some people really think that a slut walk like this would change the mindset of men around then they are grossly wrong but if they think that gonna give them enough publicity ....some in first page and some in page 3 then they are rightly focused

The right of today's women how they want to dress is pretty evident in malls, bars and even in streets... and this comes from me who is largely making her comment based on the Delhi streets....

The fact is violence against women has nothing to do with the way they dress.. and the men who understand it would do pre and post besharmi morcha in the same way and those who doesn't for them it wouldn't make a difference at all...

If today I can question what is wrong with overly exposing dresses at my workplace for women ...and say its not women friendly work atmosphere... tomorrow some of my male colleagues may actually come topless and in shorts.. I am sure there would be many women offended enough to file a complaint....

Appropriate dressing has no definition...its defiant of time, fashion, circumstances, age, location yet there is something that defines it....

The fact is slutwalking isn't going to solve the issues or even give a direction........

Its like publicity ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!

Bollywood Makeover- Delhi Belly

Aamir's much hyped Delhi Belly has released.. Before the movie release I was wondering what does Delhi Belly means n after using the most common tool of Google I came to know its a slang at it means "diarrhoea experienced by travelers in a foreign country, who are not accustomed to the local food and water"After so much of a hype around,  I couldn't really wait and went on the day of its release..

Delhi Belly isn't for everybody .... its for a very specific crowd.. and that specific is 18+ to 40, English speaking, city, urbane middle class to elites.. If you are thinking of taking your parents to it ...then forget about it .. they are not gonna like it...  

The movie is packed with rude, dark, filthy and shameless humour which has been smartly packed in a fast paced story... In this sheer brilliance of 96 minutes you nowhere feel there is a lack of story or lack of pace... there is no left right centre it is too focused a movie...

Its a story of three flatmates, friends and partner in crime Tashi (Imran Khan) Nitin (Kunal Roy Kapoor) and  Arup ( Vir Das). The story is how Tashi gets entangled in the mess of two women in his life Sonia (Shenaz) and Menaka. The story comes from a series of coincidences and accidental exchanges.. Sonia is supposed to drop a packet containing diamonds and that gets exchanged with a stool sample of Nitin who is struck with Delhi Belly.

The madness comes in the movie with a stoic gangster who is after the diamonds and Menaka's crazy ex / not so ex husband. What results from all this a strong storytelling which is no way synonymous to anything complicated... and doesn't let you sit without laugh for even for a minute.. This thriller comedy is one of its kind and never been experimented in Bollywood before.... coming with this kind of a movie is a major makeover..

The movie borrows its Tagline "Shit Happens" from one of my favs Forrest Gump .. but thats the only thing I believe has been borrowed...

Its not one of those Golmaal n Dhamal genre movie which you watch and forget
Its a must watch and a movie to remember...you may find it gross but still you'd say you liked it...

The movie has two versions.. Hindi and Hinglish ...if you really wanna have a feel go for the Hinglish one.. also if you think there is any relevance of it being shot in Delhi... then you are going to be disappointed.. this story could have been based anywhere..

At the end seriously SHIT HAPPENS....

Enjoy!!

Hungry Kya?? ....Yes I am ...... So What ??

Its Saturday and my friend Y2C like every other Indian is just awaiting THE MATCH .. yes the finals....and like every other Indian praying for India to win. It was a big day indeed with a super smashing success in the Semis and with a billion hopes of repeating history..

But arghhh the life beyond World Cup doesnt let him enjoy that ONE DAY when he would have liked to lazy around at home and just get glued to the TV and enjoy that emotional turmoil that every Indian experienced on that day. Poor guy came to office with few plans in mind..I would work methodically, no distractions, eat somewhere nearby so that I save on time and go back asap to enjoy the match.

The day started with the plan and followed it till good half of the day till the time he decided to find a cure for his hunger.. being in a place like ISBT we are hardly left with much options of food Domino's is one such place where we go for three reasons- one when we want to think beyond burgers two when we are short of time and three when we have good reasons to shell out that good amount of money that the pizza chain charges.......Incidentally all reasons got checked that it was world cup finals and he was already high on it.... He checked his watch in was 1.25 pm and he realized that if he goes now then probably he can be back around 2 ish and enjoy the 'toss' after all domino's is just few flights away from our office...

And 'aaj to Cheese Burst pizza banta hai'  Here he goes to the counter orders his fav veg cheese burst and garlic bread and sprite at exact 1.33pm from where his back counting to toss starts.... and like those 1000 times we have been there gets the sprite first .......with the usual thing in mind would Dhoni win the toss or not ... he better wins the toss whosoever has lost the toss in finals have lost the game too.... Suddenly his eyes go to the clock and whoosh its close to 2 ..... so here he goes and asks in the counter.. whether his pizza is ready or not.... and to his surprise he gets an answer ' You havent been served yet ?' The clear answer is obviously no else why the hell m I asking this question......and after checking the records the dominos guy says sorry we have mistakenly forgotten your order....

Surprisingly its the same food chain that claims its numbers as hunger helpline and has a punch line "Hungry Kya".... Yes he was very much hungry waiting for the food.. and missing the match what else could go wrong... Wait theres more to come.. to top it he is asked what all have you got till now ... poor boy surviving on sprite had finished his whole bottle by now.... the domino guy says sir you please take your seat start having garlic bread and we will make the pizza... Y2C with so much of work on head and match in mind said you give it to me in few minutes I can wait and have garlic bread .... but no came the answer it would take more time sir after all its cheese burst....So he gave his visiting card and said you deliver in my office in any case you are supposed to deliver in half an hour so you can deliver in the time left.....which was exactly 3 minutes he also insisted that you write on the bill why it got delayed........ but no again came the answer along with the same response that you have garlic bread till then and sorry we cant write ( it came after much discussion amongst them)....By now he was too irritated and said forget about delivering in 3 mins you take 10 mins give it to my office but no again came the answer  By now the coin was already tossed twice and India had already lost the toss and SL has decided to bat....and Y2C had already lost so much of time ......

So now he said I have finished the sprite , you return my money deduct the sprite price I would now like to go back I cant waste my time. And Dominos here gave the quickest of the service they have ever given and reurned the money in no time. But he atleast wanted to speak to manager but some fellow came back and said manager is really busy and cant speak to you now ...  Has the funda of 'customer is king' become old  well it seems so....anyways he still insisted on it somebody came and introduced himself as manager. who just apologized for the delay and asked him to start with garlic bread.... Garlic bread in all his life would never have irritated him the way it did today.

Poor, Hungry, irritated, angry boy went back to office and decided to shoot a mail to domino's complaint email address. with the whole story... an autogenerated reply of getting back in 48 hours also came.... after all these Multinational chains are supposed to be very efficient in all these things.... It was already 2.20 and he had decided to get back to work without wasting any more time on food.........So with an empty stomach he started working on two windows parallely one with scores of the match and one with his work.....he did not want his remaining day to go bad... and all he was looking forward to reach home as soon as possible.

His work was at peak around 4 o clock and reaching back home and enjoying the TV did not seem too far...when our office gate guard came looking for him and asked did you have a pizza problem? he asked as in ? the Guard says there are people from Domino's waiting for you downstairs...

He goes downstairs and two men introduced themselves as the manager and the shift incharge and to his surprise the manager he met before wasnt one of them.......When he questioned the same that I wanted to meet you and you sent somebody else .... very smoothly came the reply  I was busy  and  we apologize for this  how can we make you happy ? ....This seemed the most irritating question then..... to which he said whats done is done I havent had my food and I would not like to waste my time further.... to which they said we can give you a complimentary pizza for all this mess....  A complimentary pizza  he did not create all this mess for that, all he wanted was to eat on time and save time......He turned down the offer saying he did not do it for a free pizza..... and nor a free pizza can erase what they did....The faces of both the guys on other side suddenly went pale ..... probably it wasnt expected that in a country where people do not mind going that extra mile to save on few bucks somebody will turn down a free pizza!!!.......

Anyways he accepted their apology and said he would not like to waste his time further......and the episode ended there..... unlike promised to revert back in 48 hours, its been 3 days... India has won the Cup! celebrations are On! all the players are back home! and a reply is still awaited from Domino's side......

This whole episode made me write this post and pose certain questions.. has this brand game actually improved the standards..... Competitive market leads to better delivery but this kind of attitude clearly shows that the idea is yet to sink in to each and everybody serving........Has anyone ever noticed how madly these delivery guys race their bikes to ensure that it is delivered on time.......If these shallow ideas of delivery time etc is removed probably they can ensure something that we would like to cherish and that is quality and taste.... Have we as consumers forgotten that quality in service and food is what matters having my dinner at 9.27 or  9.34 would not make much of a difference....  And leave apart the fact that all these do make a big hole in our pockets.... and if you are dining in then it makes the hole even before had the first bite of your food

Next Time I would rather say  No I am not Hungry!!!